Maga Landlord or just Landlord?

 How many of us have met the legendary “grumpy landlord”? You know, the one who looks like you just told them you flush puppies down the toilet, even when you’ve done nothing but smile and pay rent on time? Yeah—why so grumpy?

 Because their job is basically to be a complaints collector. And not the fun kind—more like the one who listens to the world’s worst Yelp reviews on repeat. Sure, many complaints are legit, but guess what? Most landlords never got a crash course on emotional resilience or “How Not to Turn Into a Grumble Monster.” So, they just bottle it all up, and voilà—Grumpy McGrumpface is born.

 Imagine waking up every day to take in everyone’s drama, sometimes from people who think yelling louder actually fixes things. It’s like a never-ending episode of “Landlord Survivor.” Honestly, sometimes I see a landlord and wonder if they’re just one cranky conversation away from spontaneously combusting, should I call the ambulance now or ait? The pressure must be real.

I tried being a landlord once—big mistake. Stress ramped up faster than my grocery bill after shopping on an empty stomach. And get this, I’m a nice person! Finally, I threw in the towel and hired a professional company to handle the madness. Game changer. I could actually enjoy my life again. Bless the management companies who do the work, and better than I would.

As a renter, I’ve had one saint of a landlord, a few “meh” ones, and way too many whose job description might as well have been “Certified Bad Human.” The thing is, being a landlord doesn’t come with an instruction manual. People think owning property magically turns them into professional responsible adults—spoiler alert: it doesn’t. Sometimes it just feeds the fear and ego, fertilized by greed and a big dose of immaturity, watered with zero training.

Someone wrote recently that “MAGA landlords are the absolute worst.” How the heck would I know? I never played landlord bingo with political affiliations. And honestly, before 2016, were we even aware of MAGA landlords? Or were they just in stealth mode? They had not officially joined the death eaters?

But I have met some really nice Maga people too. Give the shirts off their backs, always sweet to me folk. I would have no idea if there were the kind that would call me a Demonrat and deport me if they could. I haven’t asked. Perhaps I should?

I’m convinced politics might not matter as much as we think. Personality style—which is a wild cocktail brewed from genetics, upbringing, environment, and probably too much (insert drug of choice) coffee—plays a bigger role. And here’s a kicker: studies show once you reach a certain mountain of money, compassion takes a nosedive. So yeah, liberal or MAGA, rich landlords often come with a side of “don’t make me get angry.”

Fun fact: peer-reviewed science says Boomers are the reigning champs of narcissism. Yep, meaner, less compassionate, and also more likely to own property and be landlords who don’t outsource their stress. Plus, Boomers absolutely skew MAGA more than hiring management companies.

So if you’re tallying the cranky landlord contest, MAGA might have higher odds—but it’s still too close. being a landlord can change almost anyone into an ass. Science tells me that.

Disclaimer: If you’re offended, congratulations—this article has worked perfectly. Whether you’re a sensitive Boomer, a landlord, a renter, an ass, MAGA, liberal, scientist, squirrel, or just here for the snacks, I’m sorry. Insert your preferred offended group here: ______________. And know that I apologized even before you got offended.

Also, I’m sending you a legal waiver; please sign and return it ASAP.

I’ve already asked for forgiveness before, during, and after writing this, but I’m still waiting on a reply from any deities. 

Silence is golden, I guess.
Pastor Joe
The Pluralist